How was school today?” 

Sound familiar?  It is the universal question asked to schoolchildren across the country each day.  It is also a question I continue to field every day when I get home. 

When my wife or children ask me this question my first thoughts will often go to the problems that I encountered that day; the student that was sent to my office, or the difficult conversation that I had to have with a staff member or parent.  These are the things that I remember most vividly, and lead me to respond to the question above with a simple “Ok” or “Fine.” 

Unfortunately, these few events are never a true reflection of the day that I had.  While a student may have visited my office to talk about a bad choice they made, I had five times that many visit me to tell me a story about their weekend or to share a birthday cupcake.  I may have had one or two tough conversations with staff or parents, but I also was able to have good conversations and laugh with most of the others.  My days are filled with positive experiences.  It just may take a few questions to remind me of that. 

Children are the same way.  If they don’t give details when you ask about their day, ask for specifics:  What was the best part of your day?  Tell me about something that made you laugh.  Tell me about a story that you read/heard that you enjoyed.  Hopefully asking the right questions will help draw these things from your child and you can share in the positive aspects of their day.

Asking the right questions to your child will not only help you understand them more, but will also help them better understand themselves.       

Sincerely,

Colin McNamara

cmcnamara@willingtonct.org